they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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