i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
