I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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