Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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