Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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