he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
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