nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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