If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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