You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
