You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
As shirtless as possible
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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