You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I love having hate sex.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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