Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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