whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Randomize
