East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
