So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
