Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
We need to get me chipped asap
Randomize
