he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
