mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
