I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize