I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Randomize
