oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
