I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
