I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
