Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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