Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
