I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize