My first STD was from a foam party
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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