Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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