How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
