Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
