i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
