just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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