Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Mom said you looked used
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Also, beer. Big fan.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
