I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
just tell him i said nine months
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
