the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize