Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
