At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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