shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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