my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Randomize
