Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
