And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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