she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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