Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
you traded sex for a burrito?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
