Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
