I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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