i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
