Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
