ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
