I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
