i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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