she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
