This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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