i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
