Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize