btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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