if i can run in heels then i can drive
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
