reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
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