Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
We are all done wearing pants today
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
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