Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
