ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
