wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
