you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
