woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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