two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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