party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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