I cannot find my penis.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
